Yes, I've seen it. I've seen the light. You might ask yourself which light I'm referring to, well that's obvious: I've seen the double bladed light saber that is used so skillfully by Darth Maul in the new Star Wars movie.
Of course, I can prove it. Look to the right and see a genuine movie ticket for the 7:00PM show on Friday, May 21st, 1999.
During the month before the premier of the movie (Which was on May 19th), it seemed like every TV network and newspaper had to give some information about the movie each day. News Shows had teasers, where you would see clips from the movie, and hear something like this: "The force is with Queen Amidala these days. Large police forces were called to rescue actress Portman when she was stuck in a restaurant's bathroom in downtown Los Angeles. Find out more about it on the WB11 news at 10." So if every publication here has something special for the new Star Wars movie, why should I be any different? I present to you Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace special edition of The Barak Ori Times.
As I sit down to write this issue I'm ashamed to say that nothing bad has happened. Everyone knows that Shakespeare's tragedies were a lot funnier than his comedies. What can I do? No funny (tragic) things to write about.
Well, actually it's quite understandable. I've become one of the "regulars" here in New York. As a regular, I'm starting to see some of the good things the city can offer me (Including the new Star Wars Movie), and some of the strange things that happen here.
It's not like I've been licking honey around here, but I have been doing quite well. It's easy to live here. I live on the fourth floor. And what's on the first floor? A supermarket. Open 8:00AM to 10:00PM. I'm thinking of getting rid of my refrigerator. It takes too much space in the apartment.
Without stories about Italy or the Social Security Agency, this may be the first issue about really living in New York.
I earned my first 55 cents as a juggler about 2 weeks ago. I didn't plan on it, but I did. In Central Park there's a grass area called Sheep Meadow. Dogs are not allowed, and on weekends people go there instead of going to the beach. Think about it, most people don't go into the water anyway, so why not get a tan on grass? People go there to play Frisbee, toss balls, read in the sun, or play with their dogs (yes, you heard right). I go there to juggle (Usually with my friend Ran). This time we missed each other and I juggled alone. Yada yada yada, I got 55 cents from a group of students. So now I'm thinking about quitting my current daytime job. The 55 cents were tax free!
Meshi (my brother) came to visit me. Coincidentally, it was around the premiere of that movie, you know its name. So after we saw it (twice), we decided to go to Six Flags - where roller coasters rule. Knowing that lines might be very long during the weekend, I took a day off, rented a car (Compact size - Chevrolet Cavalier), and we went.
The first line was more than an hour long, but the roller coaster was great! Instead of slowly climbing before the ride, they shoot you using Electro-magnets. The ride was 30 seconds long.
All the other roller coasters didn't have long lines. When we finished the ride on "The Great American SCREAM MACHINE" there were no people on line, so we took a second round right away.
And there's a matter of the pictures they take while you're riding the roller coaster. On the first time around we located the place where the pictures were taken, so that on the second one, we could pose for the camera, and here are the results (Taken at probably 40 MPH).
I live in a neighborhood called Chelsea which is considered very Gay friendly. I don't know if that's part of it, but there are a lot of dogs around here. Come to think of it, there are a lot of dogs in NY, and only a few children.
The nice thing is that you see successful people (Danni listen carefully) that are slaves to their dogs. It's so cute: they go out in suits or other fine clothes with their small, ugly, annoying dog. Then, of course, the dog creates this small brown artistic statue on the sidewalk, and then you can witness a small miracle:
This stock broker / fashion model / lawyer / Architect / whatever takes out a plastic glove, picks up the statue, wraps it in a plastic bag and throws it in the nearest trash bin. You have to see it to believe it. I'm not sure I can faithfully describe the shame and humiliation of these people. I see that and can't help thinking: "Okay, you earn $300K a year, but look what you just did. Ha ha."
Let's conclude with some politics:
Exactly two days before the very important elections in Israel, in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Gauron, the ruler of the Klingon Empire was replaced by one of the best Klingon warriors. Gauron was a bad ruler. He ruined the relationship between the Klingons and the Federation, and was generally a nasty Klingon. He also had a wife called Sarah. Well, he didn't, but is that a coincidence? I don't think so!
Did you really think I was going to talk about politics?
