This issue is about things that happened over a month ago. What can I do? I was busy. So let's get down to business. This is how May looked like...
Since I came to NY I saw Miss Saigon and Footloose. They're both respectable Broadway shows, and I enjoyed them. Miss Saigon was very impressive and I knew (and loved) most of the songs in Footloose. I think none of the above are as pivotal as Cats. This show has been running for more than 10 years. I was invited by a friend to see this musical, and although Eran said it's not a very good musical, I decided to go.
What can I say? This was the worst show I've ever been to. And keep in mind I saw this one show in Jaffa where you walk around the theater as the actors lay in the mud and pretend to be dead. I'm just saying Cats had some hard competition, but it won hands down. This musical has one famous song, that they repeat like ten thousand times. It's a shame to take such cute animals as real cats and turn them into something so terrible with those actors. They made Garfield look like the pet of the millenium.
I was angry at Eran for not being persuasive enough. So just to make sure you're not mad at me at one time - mark my words: Do not go and see Cats. Offered a free ticket? Refuse politely and run for your life. Be warned.
May marked Meshi's third visit to New York. This time he came with his friend David. I took the picture on the left. It's taken on the Brooklyn bridge, looking at the financial district in Manhattan.
The picture at the top of this issue was taken by David. Meshi is trying to mess with me while I'm sleeping.
We had a lot of fun, Monica was also in the area (although I can't prove it with pictures).
Since we were in New York during the Israeli Independence Day, we decided to have something as close to Israeli "Mangal" as possible - we went to a steak house called "Houston". Dorit (Golan's wife) even brought some fire crackers. The waiter wasn't too happy when we asked him if we could light the cracker. He said he'd be happy if we do it while he's not around. We explained that we didn't have anything to light the fire cracker with, so he brought us our desert cake with a lit candle, and stormed away to a safe distance. In the end, the fire cracker turned out to be more like a small candle. The waiter passed by and couldn't hide a laugh.
As a public service I would like to point out that the restaurant is called "Houston" like the city, but most of the "Houstons" in New York are pronounced "Ha-us-ton". I think New York had a mayor with that name. Houston street is pronounced "Ha-us-ton", and by the way, the area called SoHo is called that way because it's a shortcut for "SOuth of HOuston". It's the area to the south of that street. Did you know that?
A year ago, the New York Knicks made it all the way to the NBA finals, where they lost. This year they didn't get that high. But still the spirits were very high, and you could see the excitement in the street. Think of the New Yorkers as over eager millions of Beitar Jerusalem fans.
Since that's how excited people are about sports, a place called ESPN Zone must exist, and it does - on the corner of Broadway and 42nd street. It's a shop for T-shirts, mugs and more, combined with a bar and a restaurant equipped with huge TVs where you can watch sport events. Since Meshi and David really like basketball, we went to ESPN Zone to watch an NBA game. The place was packed, but Monica sweet talked them into giving us a table. The food was okay, the service was moderate, and it's a bit stupid to watch a game on a giant screen... with no sound. If you need to go to the "little boys room" fear not, for you can feast your eyes on the sports action as you empty your bladder. Yes, that's a small TV screen you see in the picture. There are TV screens for the seaters, and best of all, audio is included in the restrooms.
While you're in New York you're bound to go to a cultural place every once in a while. This month's field trip was to the Guggenheim museum. This museum is famous for its architectual design - it's built as a helix so that you go up the elevator, and then walk down in circles. This is how it looks from the bottom of it, as you look up:
There are also some "standard" rooms to the north of this spiral. There was only one problem. We came on a day they were changing exhibitions, and the whole spiral was closed. A tour of what was left took us no more than 20 minutes. The only interesting exhibit was a model for a proposed Guggenheim museum that will be located near the Brooklyn bridge.
When we came out of the museum, we saw a man selling pictures he called "Cats on Silk". These were chalk drawings of cats on black silk sheets. The artist is the guy with the hat in the picture to the right. As you can see, the street cleaner is very interested in his work.
As we were sitting nearby, I overheard a woman who went to this cats/silk artist. She said something like: "You know, I spent a few Dollars in the Guggenheim, and your drawings here are better than any art I've seen inside."
I think the artist would have been more impressed by what she said if she would have actually bought one of his drawings. But she didn't.
To minimize the risk of being sued by the management of the Guggenheim Museum I must say that they posted warning signs about changing the exhibition, and the price of the ticket was somewhat reduced.
I've always wanted to be a starship captain. Sit in that comfortable plastic chair, make sure the right coordinates are punched in, pause for a dramatic closeup frame and say "Engage!"
The closest I've come to that was seeing my favorite captain (No, not Capt. Stubing) - Jean-Luc Picard of the starship Enterprise doing everything I couldn't do. A few years ago I was amazed to find out that Capt. Picard didn't actually exist. It's a fictional character skillfully played by an actor called Patrick Stewart. He's not even French!
I was thrilled to hear that Mr. Stewart (who's been a stage actor for many years) came to New York to take the leading role in a play called "The Ride Down Mt. Morgan" written by Arthur Miller.
So Einat & Rami (I know Einat from the Army, and Rami, alas, is her fortunate husband), Meshi, David, and myself made sure we're not wearing a Star Trek shirt, and went to see this play. What can I say, it restored my faith in Broadway after the "Cats" disaster. My captain is indeed an excellent stage actor, and the play was excellent. The story starts as an insurance salesman is hospitalized after being in a car accident on Mt. Morgan. In the waiting room his two wives, who had no knowledge of each other, meet.
As the play ended Meshi and me took out our hidden cameras and took pictures of the cast making their curtain call. I know it's not allowed to take pictures while the actors are playing (you know, it disturbs them), but I figured they remember how to bow pretty well.
As we took the pictures, a woman from the theater approached us and demanded we hand her the cameras and the films. It turns out they're supposed to take your film, develop it, and return the pictures to you, minus the sacred pictures, of course. So now you know how to get a good deal on picture development. It took us quite a bit of persuassion for her to let us go with just a warning. I think that what realy convinced her was the fact that both cameras were digital, and had no film in them whatsoever.
So in the center of the image is Mr. Patrick Stewart. This was the only picture that came out better than terrible. Meshi took it. I guess it was the excitement.
(The picture of the theater entrance at the top of this topic was donated by the estate of Dorit and Golan Zohar)
And how could there be an issue of BOT without some word of wizdom from Conan Obrien:
Yesterday, Larry King's wife gave birth to a healthy baby daughter. The new mother said she's feeling fine, but she's still a little grossed out from having sex with Larry King.
One last note: IEFBR14 that was mentioned in the previous issue is a very useful utility that is used in IBM mainframe computers. What does it do? Nothing. Yes, I mean it - nothing. How come it is so useful? I can't explain. Ask Seinfeld.
